The other night, I had a spontaneous, throw-it-all-in-the-air kind of evening.

It started with a quick check-in — the usual: “How’s your week been?” But something in the way we paused told us we both needed more than that.

So we went to the pub. Nothing fancy. No reservation. Just two people who decided to claim a moment, instead of letting it slip past.

There was laughter. Real conversation. A sense of ease we hadn’t realised we were craving. The kind of evening you don’t plan, only notice when you’re in it.

The next day, messages were exchanged. Amongst the “Great to see you last night” and the usual post-catch-up niceties, there was a hint of something that almost felt… defensive.

As if something had been broken. A rule. An unspoken contract. But if we hadn’t had that evening — what would we have done instead?

Probably laundry. Probably admin. Probably scrolled a bit. Tidied something. Prepared for a future that keeps moving the goalposts.

The Myth of the Finished List

So many of us live like we’re on the cusp of finally clearing the decks.

Just a few more emails. A couple more busy weeks. One final push.

Then we’ll take a break. Then we’ll plan that dinner, that walk, that day off. But the list doesn’t end. It regenerates. The goalposts shift. The inbox refills.

We’ve been trained to believe in the clean slate — but it doesn’t exist. And the cost of waiting for it is life itself.

The Anger That Shows Up

There’s a moment I see often in others. A flash of something hard to name when they realise I’ve chosen differently. That I’ve opted out of the endless loop of 'not yet.'

It can come out sideways. A joke. A jab. A “must be nice.” But underneath it, I often sense something deeper.

Frustration. Grief. The quiet, aching rage of someone who hasn’t said yes in a long time. Who feels trapped in a life dictated by obligation and postponement. And who can’t yet see a way out.

We’ve all been there. Some of us still are.

The False Urgency of Busyness

We glorify being busy. It makes us feel important. Productive. Safe. But what are we really achieving?

A moment of perceived control. A sense of staying ahead. But only just. Always just.

The to-do list is a moving target. We never catch up. And even if we do, we don’t feel it. There’s no fanfare. Just more to do.

Busyness is a clever trick. It keeps us from feeling the ache. From noticing what’s missing. From asking the harder questions.

The Power of Now, Not Next

That night with my friend wasn’t scheduled. It wasn’t earned. It wasn’t the reward for a completed week.

It just was.

We made space. In the middle of the mess. In spite of the mess. And that’s the point.

The moment you’re waiting for — the clean house, the empty inbox, the perfect headspace — it doesn’t exist.

So what if you didn’t wait?

This kind of permission — to pause, to choose, to live in rhythm — is at the heart of what I call The Rooted Way.

It’s not about stepping away from life. It’s about stepping into it, differently.

If this reflection resonated, you're warmly invited to stay close as it unfolds.

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